Books in MediEvil: Resurrection: Difference between revisions

Books in MediEvil: Resurrection (view source)

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 ==[[The Graveyard (Resurrection)|The Graveyard]]==
-===Book 1 - ATTENTION SCUM!===
+===ATTENTION SCUM!===
 <p style="text-align:center;">No access to Sleeping Village.<br />Gates secured with a locking spell by order of Lord Zarok.<br />Return to your hovels and await thy doom.</p>
-===Book 2 - MEET THE GREATEST WARRIORS FROM HISTORY!===
+===MEET THE GREATEST WARRIORS FROM HISTORY!===
 <p style="text-align:center;">Congratulations, you may have already won a free trip to the Hall of Heroes.<br />To claim free admittance simply collect souls from vanquished enemies in this beautiful golden chalice. Once the chalice is full you can redeem your prize by visiting the Hall of Heroes.<br />Free gift with every visit!<br />There are many other chalice to find and collect. Don't delay, start killing today!</p>
 ==[[Cemetery Hill (Resurrection)|Cemetery Hill]]==
-===Book 1 - DANGER! NO ENTRY===
+===Witches' Gate===
+<p style="text-align:center;">DANGER! NO ENTRY</p>
 <p style="text-align:center;">Many years ago witches from the cemetery coven sealed this route to the mausoleum.</p>
-===Book 2 - Dearest sister Forest Witch===
+===Witches' Coven===
+<p style="text-align:center;">Dearest sister Forest Witch</p>
 <p style="text-align:center;">I am leaving with my beloved seedlings, and we are taking the PRECIOUS with us! We are going somewhere a witch can raise her pumpkin babies in peace and harmony, without fear of them getting stewed with tofu.<br />So move to the Enchanted Forest if you want, commune with your oaks, have nude love-ins with your sycamores, but do it on your OWN. This coven is finished.<br />P.S I have left a Witches' Talisman here in case any decent, sane, meat-eating persons wish to contact me in the future. That obviously does not include you, so don't you dare touch it!<br />Signed.<br />The Pumpkin Witch</p>
+==[[Hilltop Mausoleum]]==
+===Mausoleum===
+<p style="text-align:center;">You are entering a house of pain! Unspeakable evil lurks in secret catacombs below this very hall.</p>
+===Organist===
+<p style="text-align:center;">The phantom organist longs to play more upbeat material, but he seems doomed to repeat the same chords of despair over and over.</p>
+===Frozen Heart===
+<p style="text-align:center;">The Stain Glass Demon is the master of the mausoleum. His wretched soul is preserved inside a frozen glass heart. It lies shrouded in a veil of darkness beyond this very gate.</p>
+==[[Return to the Graveyard (Resurrection)|Return to the Graveyard]]==
+===Stain Glass Gate===
+<p style="text-align:center;">This Stain Glass Demon gate has an unusual feature. It's keyhole is missing!</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">Perhaps it may be found at another location.</p>
 ==[[Gallowmere Plains]]==
-===Book 1===
+===Graveyard Gate===
 <p style="text-align:center;">Gallowmere Graveyard lies this way. Emptying fast, reservations no longer required.</p>
-===Book 2 - PUBLIC HEALTH NOTICE===
+===PUBLIC HEALTH NOTICE===
 <p style="text-align:center;">Due to an unforeseen enchantment the residents of Sleeping Village are currently murderous puppets enslaved to the will of Zarok. Please refrain from harming the villagers as ordinarily they are a peace loving people and would not dream of attempting to place anyone's head on a sharp pole.</p>
-===Book 3===
+===Fields Gate===
 <p style="text-align:center;">Straight on to Scarecrow Fields and then the enchanted realm of Pumpkin Gorge.<br />Drive slowly, vegetables crossing.</p>
-===Book 4 - LAZY FARM VACANCIES===
+===LAZY FARM VACANCIES===
 <p style="text-align:center;">Golf coach<br />FILLED<br />Qualified masseur<br />(Previous experience working with chickens required)<br />FILLED<br />Pool Cabana Attendant<br />FILLED<br />Rat Exterminator<br />(Herding experience an advantage, Must be self-starter)<br />POSITION VACANT</p>
-===Book 5 - Path to the Enchanted Forest.===
+===Forest Gate===
+<p style="text-align:center;">Path to the Enchanted Forest.</p>
 <p style="text-align:center;">WARNING: Dragon Toad breeding season.<br />By order of the Mayor these gates have been locked for your safety.</p>
+===THIEVING IMP STORES===
+<p style="text-align:center;">Unbeatable prices on stock that fell off the backs of wagons from every corner of the realm.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">Sorry no credit.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">Only two school-imps at a time.</p>
+==[[Scarecrow Fields (Resurrection)|Scarecrow Fields]]==
+===Repairman Note===
+<p style="text-align:center;">Note to repairman:</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">My new-fangled corn-cutting machine is missing a cog. I've gone back to traditional methods, but I'm not sure kicking my wife out at dawn with a scythe and a pie is going to get the harvest in time. Can you locate a replacement part and fix it?</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">Signed, The Farmer.</p>
+===Serpent Lord===
+<p style="text-align:center;">Beyond lies Kul Katura, Lord of the Serpents, greatest snake to ever slither across the earth.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">The humanoid known as Zarok has imprisoned him in a tiny chest.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">Release him and you will not find him ungrateful.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">P.S. Hurry, he's getting a cricked neck.</p>
+==[[Pumpkin Gorge (Resurrection)|Pumpkin Gorge]]==
+===Pumpkin King===
+<p style="text-align:center;">This is my beautiful baby, the Pumpkin King. Look at his little face!</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">He's just started sleeping through so please do not disturb his rest. That means no loud noises and absolutely no whacking him in the pod sacs.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">Signed - The Pumpkin Witch</p>
+==[[Sleeping Village]]==
+===ANGRY NOTE TO THE GARDENER===
+<p style="text-align:center;">Until you get rid of those psychotic ducks from this pond garden once and for all I am locking you out!</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">Now get out on that jetty and unleash a duck apocalypse.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">Signed the Mayor.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">P.S. Remember to vote for me in the upcoming election - if you value your job that is.</p>
+===THE WISHING FOUNTAIN===
+<p style="text-align:center;">A premier village tourist attraction, fed directly from the nearby river.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">Visitor comments:</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">I threw in a rune key and made a wish that the residents of the Sleeping Village would chill out and HELLO? Nothing happened, they're still trying to kill me. Now I can't even get my rune key back.</p>
+===Crucifix 1===
+<p style="text-align:center;">A crucifix once stood here but the Mayor has removed it.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">Find a replacement cross and see how this church should really look.</p>
+===Crucifix 2===
+<p style="text-align:center;">To whichever of my lovely constituents finds this letter,</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">I must make haste for Zarok's men will be here within the hour. I have taken the crucifix from the church. No time to explain properly but the cross is the key to a key. I used it to make the attached cast, then I had it destroyed.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">It is my hope that this cast falls into the hands of a just and good hero, or at least someone who is good at metalwork.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">P.S. Remember to vote for me in the upcoming election. I'm running on an Anti-Zarok and No-To-Church-Theft platform.</p>
+===BLACKSMITH'S MONTHLY===
+<p style="text-align:center;">Old man Willy Green of Gallows Town was awarded Smithy of the Year by our readers. His outstanding casts have produced many intricate and hard-wearing iron goods and sculptures. Willy only works with the finest of metals, and is particularly noted for his magnificent busts, a particularly beautiful example of which may be found in the local public house.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">See center pages for litographs of Willy relaxing in his best leather apron.</p>
+===Mayor's Gate===
+<p style="text-align:center;">NO ENTRY!</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">The Mayor's house is off limits due to ongoing ransack operations.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">Apologies for the inconvenience, now CLEAR OFF.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">By order of the Chief Boiler Guard, loyal servant of Zarok.</p>
+===Bust Puzzle===
+<p style="text-align:center;">Bust of Mr Shanks, Landlord of the Troll's Head.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">Lower pedestal to clean statue.</p>
+===HISTORY OF GALLOWMERE===
+====Volume 1====
+<p style="text-align:center;">It was a dark and heckish time for Gallowmere. Zarok, the court magician, had exceeded his job description and taken on extra responsibility. Usually this sort of initiative is to be encouraged in an employee, but noble and wise King Peregrine, monarch of the fair lands of Gallowmere, was less than impressed. For Zarok had begun a series of outlandish experiments on the bodies of the dead - without so much as a diploma in Corpse Messing. Thus did Zarok the Former Children's Entertainer become Zarok the Necromancer.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">"The dead are to be honoured, not kept as the playthings of former balloon animal makers!" declared the King, banishing Zarok from the castle. Zarok's collection of living dead, now to be seen wondering the castle grounds emitting unearthly moans like work experience kids on a gardening placement, were rounded up and destroyed.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">Zarok, having developed the kind of ego that seems to go hand-in-hand with two-bit illusionists who believe their own publicity, went into hiding. He vowed to wreak his revenge on the king. And rubbed his hands together a lot. And probably bought a wig.</p>
+====Volume 2====
+<p style="text-align:center;">As time passed, rumours of continuing misdeeds spread throughout the land. And this time it wasn't just what the witches got up to in the forest when they'd knocked back a few mushrooms. It was whispered that Zarok had employed the aid of Shadow Demons to help build a vast castle and get back to work on his Necromancy Project. It's not clear which bank in Gallowmere helped refinance his effort, but if you were ever looking for an example of an irresponsible investment policy, that one's a boo-boo.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">With the help of an ancient artifact called the Anubis Stone, Zarok soon had a vast army of undead at his command. One can only imagine what it smelt like in that castle - like Lazarus's jock strap probably. And then, under the cover of night, the hideous host spilled forth from its corrupt haven.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">The army marched south across the Silver Mountains and through the Silver Woods. Soon afterwards even the Pumpkinlands belonged to Zarok - and Gallows Town looked to be his for the taking. The people of the town cried out for help. "Save us King Peregrine!" they whined. And to think that only the year before they'd been clamoring for a democracy.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">King Peregrin wasn't one to bear a grudge, however, and he got his army together and marched against the undead multitude. Retaliation was swift, decisive and satisfyingly violent. The King's forces - led by the dashing Sir Daniel Fortesque - drove Zarok's army back from Gallows town. There was much rejoicing. But the war was not over yet.</p>
+====Volume 3====
+<p style="text-align:center;">Zarok's zombie army - which in happier times might have been a good name for a lute band - regrouped and fought back. They took the flood lands. This caused much concern - especially among Gallowmere's Environment Agency, who'd spent a fortune redeveloping the margins with sustainable planting to protect its valuable ecosystem and wading birdlife.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">From this vantage point Zarok could march West to take the Enchanted Forest. This sacred place would prove a bitter defeat if it fell into the hands of the evil sorcerer and his hygienically-challenged army. Once again, the King's troops rode out. And once again, it was Sir Daniel Fortesque who led them, vowing to rid the land of the demon multitudes once and for all.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">Yet the evil mage - perhaps not unexpectedly - was cunning. He had prepared an ambush. A titanic battle ensued.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">It is said that the day, the battle and - yes - the war would have gone to Zarok, but for the skill and valor of one man: Sir Dan Fortesque led the charge deep into the massed ranks of the undead. He felled Zarok's bodyguard, the fearful Lord Kardok and before finally succumbing to his own mortal wounds, slew the traitorous sorcerer Zarok himself with a mighty sweep of his sword. (Sir Dan's sword, not Zarok's. Zarok preferred a sort of pansy magic wand effort, curse his girl-like ways.)</p>
+====Volume 4====
+<p style="text-align:center;">And so the forces of evil were destroyed - but at a terrible price. None but a handful of the King's men returned from that field. Gallowmere lost a whole generation of young men that day, including Canny Tim, the legendary crossbowman, and Fortesque's second in command, who fell in the first volley of arrows.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">Zarok's body was never found. If it should lie unmourned in an unmarked grave, then no one in Gallowmere would shed a tear.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">The Shadow Demons that had fallen under Zarok's banner were unnatural entities and all but impervious to permanent harm. With no way of slaying the hellish creatures the King declared that they be entombed beneath the pure earth of the Enchanted Forest.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">So it was that the demons were imprisoned deep underground within an impregnable box of the King's own design - for he could turn his hand to many things, among them needlepoint, ice sculpture and box design.</p>
+<p style="text-align:center;">The tomb was magically sealed so that only the touch of a Shadow Demon could open it. Before the tomb was sealed an arm was severed from a Shadow Demon and forged into the artifact known as the Shadow Demon Claw. Its touch alone formed the only key to the prison. The land of Gallowmere, at last, was safe.</p>
+==[[Hall of Heroes (Resurrection)|Hall of Heroes]]==
+===Homage===
+<p style="text-align:center;">To pay homage to the heroes stand in front of their statues and await spiritual guidance.</p>
 [[Category:Books]]