Test Results

Test Results was a controversial Sony PlayStation promotional campaign. In late 1998, members of the PlayStation UK mailing list received a brown enveloped labelled "PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL TEST RESULTS." Inside the envelope was a medical card written by Dr Bosconovitch, the recipient's "scan results", three X-ray posters featuring Tekken 3, MediEvil and The Fifth Element, as well as a leaflet detailing various other PlayStation products.

The campaign was poorly received, especially by those awaiting real medical results, resulting in numerous complaints to the Advertising Standards Authority. Sony subsequently apologised for the campaign and withdrew it from circulation.

Transcript

Medical Card

Front

This is your
Medical Card

Please keep it in a safe place.

Dear <recipient>,

I am writing as a matter of urgency with your scan results - they reveal early stages of a progressive condition for which I am prescribing immediate treatment.

Acute lack of stimulation of the sensory organs has resulted in a marked deterioration of digi-ocular (thumb/eye) co-ordination, this is potentially serious but treatable with any of the three non-prescription options detailed on the enclosed X-rays.

These are the latest medical treatments available and the earlier you start the course of therapy, the more likely a full recovery will be. Please make an immediate appointment with your local consultant so you can qualify for free Thumb Protectors to aid your rehabilitation (see reverse of card).

I also urge you to take full advantage of the 2 free Hand Conditioning Devices (see reverse of card) if you find any friends displaying similar symptoms.

My best wishes for a full and speedy recovery.

Dr Bosconovitch

Back

To the patient:
These Thumb Protectors are specially engineered from High-Tech PS5987 material to alllow prolonged periods of rehabilitation.

Fig. 1 Thumb Protector

To the patient
The Hand Conditioning Devices (H.C.D.) are designed so that you can exercise your fingers and thumbs.

Fig. 2 H.C.D. (Squeezy Brain)

Scan Results

BRAIN
In need of more intense mentally challenging activities.

EYES
Lack of visual stimulation has resulted in a decrease in optic nerve performance.

EARS
Suffering from a lack of enhanced audio input.

TEETH
Evidence of a decrease in clenching power.

THUMB
Thumb/eye co-ordination suffering due to lack of stimuli.

TREATMENT:
Immediate treatment strongly recommended to counter decreased digi-ocular co-ordination. Choose from the three courses of non-prescription medication detailed. Consider Thumb Protectors and Hand Conditioning Devices for physio-therapeutic uses.

X-rays

Treatment #1: Tekken 3

The mother of all fighting games - official - with amazing graphics, 360° battle system and superb animation. There are 23 extraordinary characters (you'll soon find your favourite), with over 1000 moves. Master them or it's game over.

"The best fighting game in the world ever".
10/10 Official PlayStation Magazine

Treatment #2: MediEvil

This official Dual Shock compatible, 3D action adventure game will provide you with the perfect balance of shoot'em up action with exploration and puzzle solving. Sir Daniel Fortesque is an action hero with a difference - he's dead. You and he must defeat the evil sorcerer Zarok and the crazed victims of his magic before he can return to his grave and rest in peace.

"It dances on the graves of a crowd of other games like it"
92% PlayStation Plus

Treatment #3: The Fifth Element

A stunning extension of the Luo Besson film, The Fifth Element is an awesome 3D platform shoot'em up that utilises brilliant simulations of the film settings to take you on a voyage of vicious discovery through futuristic New York, the Space Opera, the Astroport and Egypt.

"The most promising film license to appear this year."
Total PlayStation