Test Results

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Test Results
SonyPlayStation-TestResults-Envelope.jpg
The envelope. Image by 2nd*sight.
Author(s) Claydon Heeley International
Country United Kingdom
Language English
Published 1998

Test Results was a controversial[1][2] Sony PlayStation promotional campaign created by Claydon Heeley International.[3] In late 1998, members of the PlayStation UK mailing list received a brown envelope labelled "PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL TEST RESULTS." Inside the envelope was a medical card written by Doctor Bosconovitch, the recipient's "scan results," three X-ray posters featuring Tekken 3, MediEvil and The Fifth Element, as well as a leaflet detailing various other PlayStation products.

The campaign was poorly received, especially by those awaiting real medical results, resulting in 78 complaints to the Advertising Standards Authority.[3] Sony subsequently apologised for the campaign and withdrew it from circulation.[1][2]

Transcripts

Medical Card

Part 1

This is your
Medical Card

Please keep it in a safe place.

Dear <recipient>,

I am writing as a matter of urgency with your scan results - they reveal early stages of a progressive condition for which I am prescribing immediate treatment.

Acute lack of stimulation of the sensory organs has resulted in a marked deterioration of digi-ocular (thumb/eye) co-ordination, this is potentially serious but treatable with any of the three non-prescription options detailed on the enclosed X-rays.

These are the latest medical treatments available and the earlier you start the course of therapy, the more likely a full recovery will be. Please make an immediate appointment with your local consultant so you can qualify for free Thumb Protectors to aid your rehabilitation (see reverse of card).

I also urge you to take full advantage of the 2 free Hand Conditioning Devices (see reverse of card) if you find any friends displaying similar symptoms.

My best wishes for a full and speedy recovery.

Dr Bosconovitch

Part 2

To the patient:
These Thumb Protectors are specially engineered from High-Tech PS5987 material to alllow prolonged periods of rehabilitation.

Fig. 1 Thumb Protector

To the patient:
The Hand Conditioning Devices (H.C.D.) are designed so that you can exercise your fingers and thumbs.

Fig. 2 H.C.D. (Squeezy Brain)

OFFICIAL MEDICAL SUPPLIES LATEST PRICES

Front

Product Description Was Now
[image of a PlayStation and controller] Official Console & Dual Shock Controller.
The perfect combination at unbeatable value.
£99.99 RRP
[image of an arcade stick] Namco® Arcade Stick.
Designed with the serious gamer in mind with the build quality and feel of a coin-op machine. Highly recommended for Tekken 3.
£49.99 RRP
[image of a multi-tap] Official Multi-Tap.
The official Multi-Tap allows up to 5 people to play at once. Perfet for multi player titles.
£32.99 RRP £19.99 RRP
[image of a PlayStation controller] Official Hand Controllers.
The original, official and still the best digital controller available.
£17.99 RRP £9.99 RRP
[image of a Dual Shock controller] Official Dual Shock Controller.
Force feedback technology to bring every bump, crash, hit & spin to life. Twin analogue sticks enabling full 360° movement. The most advanced controller available.
£24.99 RRP £19.99 RRP
[image of a Memory Card] Official Memory Card.
Allows players to save & load game data, hi-scores, lap times or your position in an adventure game. The most reliable card, available in a range of colours.
£14.99 RRP £9.99 RRP
[image of Wild 9 game box] WILD 9.
Stunning 3D platform adventure from Shiny Entertainment and Interplay.
£39.99 RRP

Do not consider using unlicensed peripherals - they may damage your machine and invalidate your warranty.

Back

Product Description
[various images from the game Wild 9] Wild & Weird!
You, the player, control Wex Major, a 21st century teenage hero, through an incredible 3D platforme galaxy. Your mission is, with the help of eight comrades, to free your home planets from the terrifying planet-pillaging Karn.

With a bizarre cast of characters and the only weapon that positively encourages you to torture your enemies. Wild 9 will go beyond gamers' wildest expectations. You pole-vault walls and chasms, float on air currents. Launch a kaleidoscope of flashing hoops of fire and explosions and burn your enemies to a crisp using The Rig (the ultimate torture weapon).

The most animated game ever! Over 60,000 handmade frames of animation in real-time 3D.

13 exciting levels filled with villains, puzzles, weapons and weirdness!

A must for any intergalactic trooper.

X-rays

Scan Results

BRAIN
In need of more intense mentally challenging activities.

EYES
Lack of visual stimulation has resulted in a decrease in optic nerve performance.

EARS
Suffering from a lack of enhanced audio input.

TEETH
Evidence of a decrease in clenching power.

THUMB
Thumb/eye co-ordination suffering due to lack of stimuli.

TREATMENT:
Immediate treatment strongly recommended to counter decreased digi-ocular co-ordination. Choose from the three courses of non-prescription medication detailed. Consider Thumb Protectors and Hand Conditioning Devices for physio-therapeutic uses.

Treatment #1: Tekken 3

The mother of all fighting games - official - with amazing graphics, 360° battle system and superb animation. There are 23 extraordinary characters (you'll soon find your favourite), with over 1000 moves. Master them or it's game over.

"The best fighting game in the world ever".
10/10 Official PlayStation Magazine

Treatment #2: MediEvil

This official Dual Shock compatible, 3D action adventure game will provide you with the perfect balance of shoot'em up action with exploration and puzzle solving. Sir Daniel Fortesque is an action hero with a difference - he's dead. You and he must defeat the evil sorcerer Zarok and the crazed victims of his magic before he can return to his grave and rest in peace.

"It dances on the graves of a crowd of other games like it"
92% PlayStation Plus

Treatment #3: The Fifth Element

A stunning extension of the Luo Besson film, The Fifth Element is an awesome 3D platform shoot'em up that utilises brilliant simulations of the film settings to take you on a voyage of vicious discovery through futuristic New York, the Space Opera, the Astroport and Egypt.

"The most promising film license to appear this year."
Total PlayStation

Gallery

All images by 2nd*sight. Used with permission.

Medical Card

Official Medical Supplies

X-rays

References

  1. 1.0 1.1 UPROAR OVER SONY FAKE MEDICAL TEST MAILSHOT on WARC. Published August 1, 1998. Retrieved May 28, 2021.
  2. 2.0 2.1 Anger over Sony's 'cancer' mailshot on BBC News. Published October 24, 1998. Retrieved May 28, 2021.
  3. 3.0 3.1 ASA Adjudications - February 1999 - Sony Computer Entertainment UK Ltd on The Advertising Standards Authority Website (archived version). Published February 1999.

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