Intermissions in MediEvil 2

This page documents intermissions found in MediEvil 2. Only major intermissions that contain speech are featured here.

Professor's Lab (1), introduction following Museum level

• Professor: Ah, well done, Winston, I see you managed to find him after all. Fortesque, pleased to meet you, I should imagine that you are a little nonplussed, as to what exactly is going on, eh??
• Dan: Uh... Uh...
• Professor: Well, allow me to introduce myself. Professor Hamilton-Kift, Magician, Inventor and master of the Occult at your service. If you're wondering what you're doing once again walking the earth, it appears that someone has got their hands on the legendary Zarok spell book.
• Dan: Zarok... Ugh... No...
• Professor: Well, people like myself have been searching for that book for centuries. The power within its pages, oooh! Well, last year certain pieces of the book turned up and this is the result, total chaos. First we have to find the extent of the damage don't we?? I myself am imprisoned in this god-awful pit without any power. Top priority is to get this place into suitable shape to start waging a little guerrilla war. Has Winston told you about collecting magic? He has? Good, good. Well, off you go then. Select where you want to go on the projector over here. Also if you collect the Chalice I should be able to reward you with a new weapon. You can collect this off me here.

Victorian Townscape, Henchman escape

• Dogman: Master will be pleased with booty.
• Mander: Yes, it is a pity we cannot yet enter the tomb. We will return.

Professor's Lab (2), introduction following Victorian Townscape level

• Professor: Fortesque, you made it, excellent!! The energy you've collected has given us power of a sort... And  that's not all you've brought back I see. I don't normally approve of any old waif or stray, but when they're as pretty as this one, I think we can make exceptions. Ohhh, errr, Sorry, Sorry. Well tell me, did you find anything useful on your journey? A what?? Errr... A snake??? A dog and a rocket???
• Dan: And I also found this.
• Professor: Mmmmm, interesting. I'll analyse this and... see if I can't debrief our friend over here. Sir Dan, go and get some more Zombie juice for my machines.

Professor's Lab (3), introduction following Freakshow level

• Professor: Dan you're back, fantastic. Loads to tell you. I've analysed the watch you found and I think I know who is behind this madness.
• Dan: Who??
• Professor: The name of our enemy is Lord Palethorn. He tried to gain respect by joining the magicians circle, but they expelled him after he began to experiment with Black Magic. Frightful, frightful man. As far as we can see, the whole city has fallen under his wicked spell. Every dead soul in London is walking the streets and a host of other demons have arrived to plague us.
• Dan: Here we go again.
• Professor: Not all bad news though. This young... This lady is none other than Kiya, 91st consort of Ramesses himself! I've been doing a little reading and let me tell you, you might feel old, but she's positively ancient - no offence.
• Princess: You were the one who freed me from my eternal prison? Great warrior, I salute thee. I am forever in your debt.
• Professor: Right, introductions over... on with the show.

Greenwich Observatory, Interior

• Palethorn: Mander, is it ready?
• Mander: Yess, master. At the press of a button the great scope will find all the pages of the spell book.
• Palethorn: Good, start the machine, start the machine... Yes... Soon, soon it will all be mine... What the devil? Noooo... What have we got here? Meddlesome fool, do you know what you've ruined? Mander, deal with this wretch.
• Mander:  Time to break some bones Dogman.
• Dogman: Bones, bones, bones!
• Mander: Shutup!

Professor's Lab (4), introduction following Greenwich Observatory level

• Professor: Fortesque, well done my friend, you thwarted Palethorn. Winston tells me about his fiendish scheme and it's our first piece of good news. If he hasn't got all the pages of the spell book, then he hasn't got full control of the undead. If we can get to them before he does then we just might stand a chance of defeating him. Sorry no time for chat, if you're ready let's get this show on the road.

Kew Gardens

• Palethorn: Ah Mander, it's a good thing our experiment in Greenwich turned up a page of the spell book, before that weird little skeleton monster chose to interrupt everything.
• Mander: Yes Master.
• Palethorn: I trust his demise was suitably unpleasant.
• Mander: Master, he proved to be quite, er, a resilient foe. He managed to evade us.
• Palethorn: WHAT? Good grief man, what do I pay you for? The two of you are worse than useless. I just hope the spell's been a success, then I can dispense with your services.

Limb Hunt, Exposition

• Professor: Dan! Dan! Not a moment too soon. Palethorn is launching an all out attack. Kiya says he made some giant monster that will crush us all.. Our only hope is to make our own and using Kiya's embalming knowledge I think we can. In fact I already have the head, but I need limbs. Limbs Dan. I don't care what you've got to do to get them, we must get limbs!
• Dan: Urghhhh!
• Professor: Now's no time to be squeamish Fortesque, just bring me the limbs one at a time, place them on the slab and we'll build a monster of our own.

Limb Hunt, Exposition 2

• Professor: Here we are. Uh! Hmmm, we're doomed... Unless.

Dankenstein boxing, Introduction

• Palethorn: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Fight Night! Palethorn promotions, in association with the forces of darkness, brings you a match to the death, between... In the white corner, weighing in at 280 pounds with a record of no fights and no wins... Dankenstein. And in the black corner, weighing in at 440 pounds, with an unbeaten record of 40 straight wins. The unbeatable, the unstoppable, IRON SLUGGER! I don't need to tell you the prize that's at stake. LET'S GET IT ON!
• Professor: Er, OK I want a good clean fight and the first one to get a knockout is the winner. Any lost limbs can be collected between rounds. Shake and let's fight!

Dan-kenstein, Dan wins

• Palethorn: Curse you! Curse you all! You think you've won? I'll have my day and when I do, I'll...

Dan-kenstein, Dan loses

• Professor: Oh deary, deary me, this isn't very good at all is it?
• Palethorn: Au contraire Professor, it's very good, as once again I defeat the good guy and get the girl.

Dan-kenstein, Dan suffers points loss

• Professor: Oh deary, deary, me, so close and yet so far?
• Paltehorn: Close, but no cigar Professor, as yet again I defeat the good guy and get the girl.

Professor's Lab (5), introduction following Dan-kenstein boxing level

• Professor: Well, we won that round, quite literally, didn't we? But we're not out of the woods just yet. In fact, at this very moment I'm picking up two areas of extreme psychic disturbance. One in Whitechapel, the other... It's nothing I've ever seen... It's a pity you can't be in two places at once Dan.
• Princess: Professor, let me go.
• Dan: No, no, it's too dangerous.
• Professor: Well, if she's careful, and comes back at the first sign of trouble...
• Princess: Wait, Sir Fortesq... Dan... You freed me from my Tomb, do not imprison me in another. I wish to see the world, to help in the fight and I will be careful.
• Professor: Ok, Kiya you go to Whitechapel. Dan, you check out the other disturbance.

Vampire Mansion, InterLevel

• Palethorn: Try the second compressor Dogman. what a strange adversary Fortesque is. He's persistent, I'll give him that. And he certainly has the beating of you two.
• Mander: He also defeated Iron Slugger master.
• Palethorn: He also defeated Iron Slugger... YOU DOLT! I...I've had enough of your slimy whining. GET OUT! No matter, I'll call on my allies earlier than expected.
• Vampire Boss: Aaah, Palethorn. Is the time right for my glorious arrival?
• Palethorn: Oh yes, the timing is just perfect. Ha!ha!ha! Come on, we're off.

Vampire Boss (1), Introduction

• Vampire Boss: Yawn... What manner of creature are you to disturb the Count's sleep? Why before me I see nothing more than a re-animated bag of armour and bone. You have done well to get this far, but the Count has walked this Earth for a thousand years defeating hundreds stronger than you, and for a thousand more I...

• Dan: Get on with it!

• Vampire Boss: You interrupt me! For your insolence you shall suffer beyond all imagining my ugly little friend. Ha! Ha! Ha! Haaa!

Vampire Boss (2), Count armour smash

• Vampire Boss: Aaargh.
• Dan: Huh?
• Vampire Boss: You have fought well my bony friend, but all resistence is futile. You cannot defeat the Count.

Vampire Boss (3), Count death

• Vampire Boss: Argh!

Professor's Lab (6), introduction following Vampire Boss level

• Professor: Er, hello Dan. You destroyed the Count. Err, excellent... Excellent!
• Dan: What's the matter?
• Professor: Err, unfortunately I'm afraid we've lost all contact with Kiya. She went to Whitechapel and we haven't heard from her since.
• Dan: What! I said she shouldn't go.
• Professor: I know, I know, it's all my fault. If anything's happened to her I'll never forgive myself and I don't think you'll ever forgive me will you? We should probably go after Palethorn, but why don't you go and see if you can find her. Mmmm?

(part 1 of 4) - Lair of the Ripper

• Madame Jo Jo: Good stranger, you look for the Egyptian one?

(part 3 of 4) - Lair of the Ripper

• Madame Jo Jo: She was here, I told her what's been happening, but the Ripper, he's been working through all my girls. I think she's gone to find him. I tried to stop her, but she's a headstrong girl. If she means anything to you, you'd better find her before it's too late. Quick, hurry to the clock tower...

(part 4 of 4) - Lair of the Ripper

• Madame Jo Jo: ...but before you go, fortify yourself with this.

Death of Princess

• Dan: No!!!

Professor's Lab (7), introduction following Lair of the Ripper level

• Professor: Well did you find her??
• Dan: Huh, huh.
• Professor: And... and...?
• Dan: She's dead!
• Professor: Oh no, Oh no, she's dead and it's all my fault. I'll never be able to forgive myself... Anyway, I'm picking up some bizarre signals from the Cathedral, we must investigate.
• Dan: No, Not me, I can't go on, I quit.
• Professor: No Dan, that's just what he wants, if we give up now all of London will be his and with London the rest of the Empire will follow.
• Dan: He can have it. I don't care.
• Professor: Dan! Dan!

(part 1 of 5) - Sewers

• Mullock King: Is it true, the great one eye has come to save us?

(part 2 of 5) - Sewers

• Dan: Uh..Oh.

(part 3 of 5) - Sewers

• Mullock King: Well great one, you see we were once a happy tribe singing and dancing.

(part 4 of 5) - Sewers

• Mullock King: That was until the great beasts came and lured away all our women. Now the only song we sing is a sad one. We have lost the taste for the battle and the will to live.

(part 5 of 5) - Sewers

• Mullock King: Great god, can you restore our women to us? If you can, you will be well rewarded.

Sewers

• Mullock King: Oh Great one, you have saved us. By the powers of the time stone, I declare we are a whole tribe once more. Will you stay and defend us from future attack??
• Dan: No, I have to return to the surface.
• Mullock King: Very well, I will return you to the water's edge where transport will be waiting. Here, take your reward.

Professor's Lab (8), introduction following Sewer level

• Professor: Dan, I had almost given up hope! We still have a little time left to defeat Palethorn. If he gets the last pages of the spell book then...
• Dan: Professor, what's this?
• Professor: Erm, I don't know, never seen it before.
• Dan: Grrr
• Professor: It's a poster for one of my earliest experiments, the time machine, doesn't work though, complete waste of time.
• Dan: I'm going!
• Professor: No, we must focus on defeating Palethorn, I'm sorry about Kiya, I really am, but it's too late to worry about her now.
• Dan: Grrr
• Professor: Alright, alright. I've been economical with the truth. I knew it was Palethorn all along... We used to be friends. That was before the expedition of '78. Ever wondered how I got these hands? Well it's all in my diary over there, but the machine, it's still at the museum. It's probably smashed though and anyway I could never get it to do anything other than move through space. Like I said, waste of time... Oh??

Time Machine

• ???: Mercy... mercy... honourable knight... spare me.

Professor's Lab (9), introduction following Time Machine level

• Professor: Oh, you found her then. Good, good. I knew she'd come to no harm. Err, ooh there's no time for this luvvy duvvy stuff. Things are looking grim, I'm picking up a bizarre signal from...
• Dan: Cathedral Spires. Where Palethorn is looking for the final pages of the spell book.
• Professor: Err, yes! Cathedral Spires. How did you know that? And come to think of it, where did you get that new fangled armour from?
• Dan: Hahah!
• Professor: Hmmm, it looks to be made of the same material as your shield. Interesting, it should afford you much greater protection. Right, the mission is simple, we have to find that page of the spell book before Palethorn, or else all of London will be his and we've lost!

Cathedral Boss (1)

• Palethorn: I'll take that thank you. You never give up do you Dan? I knew you'd find the last page of Zarok's spell book for me. You should have joined me, we would've made a great team. Instead, I got lumbered with these two.
• Mander: But master I...
• Palethorn: Silence. Think about it Daniel, an eternity by my side. Why with my powers I could put flesh onto your bones as easy as pie.
• Dan: I'd never join you.
• Palethorn: What was that? Could you mumble that again? No... oh well... You two can redeem yourselves. Kill him while I decipher this spell page.

Cathedral Boss (2)

• Palethorn: Oh you've killed my beloved servants, how tragic. How achingly predictable. Well Daniel it's been fun, but I'm afraid the game is over and it's time for you to die.

Cathedral Boss (3)

• Palethorn: Well I suppose a decent thing would be to admit defeat... but I ain't a decent man. If I'm going down I'm taking you with me. It's funny, all my life all I wanted was a little respect - and world domination of course - for people to notice, well... They'll notice this. Urghh!