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Some of the text on pages 2 and 3 is obscured by imagery and could thus not be transcribed. | Some of the text on pages 2 and 3 is obscured by imagery and could thus not be transcribed. | ||
===Medievil Times, page 1=== | ===Medievil Times, page 1=== | ||
<span style="font-family:Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;">No. 666, </span>LONDON, FRIDAY, APRIL 21, 1886. PRICE 3d. | <span style="font-family:Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;">No. 666, </span>[[London|LONDON]], FRIDAY, APRIL 21, 1886. PRICE 3d. | ||
====BIRTHS.==== | ====BIRTHS.==== | ||
*DENTON. - On the 5th April., 31, Long Street, London, the wife of WARREN DENTON, of 4 healthy daughters and a healthy son. | *DENTON. - On the 5th April., 31, Long Street, London, the wife of WARREN DENTON, of 4 healthy daughters and a healthy son. | ||
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*WEIRDER. - On the tsth April, at s, Compdm-hill-lane, the wife of EVELYN WEIRDER, of Lincoln's Inn, Barrister-at-Law, of a son. | *WEIRDER. - On the tsth April, at s, Compdm-hill-lane, the wife of EVELYN WEIRDER, of Lincoln's Inn, Barrister-at-Law, of a son. | ||
====DEATHS.==== | ====DEATHS.==== | ||
*BELLOWS. - On the 10th April., in shock at as Colville-lane, Kensington | *BELLOWS. - On the 10th April., in shock at as Colville-lane, Kensington park, HARRY BELLOWS, aged 65 years. | ||
*BEWICKE. - On the 10th April., suddenly, at 349 Carlos Square, Mayfair, ANGELO BEWICKE aged 52. | *BEWICKE. - On the 10th April., suddenly, at 349 Carlos Square, Mayfair, ANGELO BEWICKE aged 52. | ||
*BRYAN. - On the 12th April., at 18 Lansdowne-Close, Wimbledon, PENELOPE MARGARET BRYAN, eldest daughter of the late Sir Alexander Bryan, F.R.S., formerly of the Eagle, Sevenoaks, aged 67 years. | *BRYAN. - On the 12th April., at 18 Lansdowne-Close, Wimbledon, PENELOPE MARGARET BRYAN, eldest daughter of the late Sir Alexander Bryan, F.R.S., formerly of the Eagle, Sevenoaks, aged 67 years. | ||
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====RESURRECTIONS.==== | ====RESURRECTIONS.==== | ||
*ALBERTAOSAURUS. - On the 19th April., at the Natural History Museum, London, aged 74 million years. | *[[wikipedia:Albertosaurus|ALBERTAOSAURUS]]. - On the 19th April., at the Natural History Museum, London, aged 74 million years. | ||
*CENTROSAURUS. - On the 16th April., at the Natural History Museum, Kensington, London, aged 70 million years. | *[[wikipedia:Centrosaurus|CENTROSAURUS]]. - On the 16th April., at the Natural History Museum, Kensington, London, aged 70 million years. | ||
*DANIEL FORTESQUE. - On the 21st April., at The Old Museum, London, aged 500 years. | *[[Sir Daniel Fortesque|DANIEL FORTESQUE]]. - On the 21st April., at The Old Museum, London, aged 500 years. | ||
*DEMANOID. - On the 10th April, at Blythe Hill, aged 666 years. | *DEMANOID. - On the 10th April, at Blythe Hill, aged 666 years. | ||
*DEMENTIA. - On the 11th April., at Hammersmith Cemetery, aged 29 years. | *[[wikipedia:Dementia|DEMENTIA]]. - On the 11th April., at Hammersmith Cemetery, aged 29 years. | ||
*DIPLODOCUS. - On the 19th April., at the British Museum, Russell Square, London, aged 72 million years. | *[[wikipedia:Diplodocus|DIPLODOCUS]]. - On the 19th April., at the British Museum, Russell Square, London, aged 72 million years. | ||
*DISASTER. - On the 14th April, at Charlton Cemetery, aged 50 years. | *[[wikipedia:Disaster|DISASTER]]. - On the 14th April, at Charlton Cemetery, aged 50 years. | ||
*EVIL EYE. - On the 12th April., at Hampstead Heath, aged 220, years. | *[[wikipedia:Evil eye|EVIL EYE]]. - On the 12th April., at Hampstead Heath, aged 220, years. | ||
*EVIL ONE. - On the 12th April., at Hither Green Crematorium, aged 99 years | *EVIL ONE. - On the 12th April., at Hither Green Crematorium, aged 99 years | ||
*GANGRENE. - On the 8th April., at Surbiton Cemetery, London, aged 600 years. | *[[wikipedia:Gangrene|GANGRENE]]. - On the 8th April., at Surbiton Cemetery, London, aged 600 years. | ||
*GHOULE. - On the 7th April., at Bethnal Green Cemetery, London, aged 253 years. | *[[wikipedia:Ghoul|GHOULE]]. - On the 7th April., at Bethnal Green Cemetery, London, aged 253 years. | ||
*GHOGLIAN. - On the 8th April, at Kingston Cemetery, London, aged 140 years. | *GHOGLIAN. - On the 8th April, at Kingston Cemetery, London, aged 140 years. | ||
*GOBLIN. - On the 8th April., at Kingston Cemetery, London, aged 676 years. | *[[wikipedia:Goblin|GOBLIN]]. - On the 8th April., at Kingston Cemetery, London, aged 676 years. | ||
*HOBO. - On the 19th April., at Blackforest, aged 21 years. | *[[wikipedia:Hobo|HOBO]]. - On the 19th April., at Blackforest, aged 21 years. | ||
*PLAGUE. - On the 8th April, at Surbiton Cemetery, London, aged 224 years. | *[[wikipedia:Plague|PLAGUE]]. - On the 8th April, at Surbiton Cemetery, London, aged 224 years. | ||
*POISONE. - On the 8th April., at Bethnal Green Cemetery, London, aged 180 years. | *[[wikipedia:Poison|POISONE]]. - On the 8th April., at Bethnal Green Cemetery, London, aged 180 years. | ||
*SETH. - On the 15th April., at Bethnal Green Cemetery, aged 175 years. | *[[wikipedia:Set (mythology)|SETH]]. - On the 15th April., at Bethnal Green Cemetery, aged 175 years. | ||
*TRICERATOPS. - On the 19th April., at the Natural History Museum, Kensington, London, aged 66 million years. | *[[wikipedia:Triceratops|TRICERATOPS]]. - On the 19th April., at the Natural History Museum, Kensington, London, aged 66 million years. | ||
*YAMA. - On the 18th April., at Brixton Hill Cemetery, aged 2000 years. | *[[wikipedia:Yama|YAMA]]. - On the 18th April., at Brixton Hill Cemetery, aged 2000 years. | ||
====74 MILLION YEAR OLD ALBERTAOSAURUS ESCAPES FROM THE NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM.==== | ====74 MILLION YEAR OLD ALBERTAOSAURUS ESCAPES FROM THE [[wikipedia:Natural History Museum, London|NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM]].==== | ||
On the morning of April 19th at approximately twenty past eleven, a powerful explosion occurred in | On the morning of April 19th at approximately twenty past eleven, a powerful explosion occurred in | ||
the Natural History Museum. The force of the explosion was so great that the front windows and side door of the museum were blown out. Those who were passing by the museum were thrown to the ground and badly cut by broken glass. Moments later, to the utter astonishment of onlookers, a prehistoric beast crashed through the front entrance of the museum. | the Natural History Museum. The force of the explosion was so great that the front windows and side door of the museum were blown out. Those who were passing by the museum were thrown to the ground and badly cut by broken glass. Moments later, to the utter astonishment of onlookers, a prehistoric beast crashed through the front entrance of the museum. | ||
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Scotland-yard is now in hot pursuit of the 1500 kg beast, which was last seen heading towards Greenwich. | Scotland-yard is now in hot pursuit of the 1500 kg beast, which was last seen heading towards Greenwich. | ||
====ANOTHER HIDEOUS MURDER IN WHITECHAPEL.==== | ====ANOTHER HIDEOUS MURDER IN [[Whitechapel|WHITECHAPEL]].==== | ||
Another murder of the most foulest kind was committed in the neighbourhood of Whitechapel in the early hours of yesterday morning. The motive and the killer still remain a mystery. At ten minutes past five, Police-Constable Haylock, when in Cudworth Street, Whitechapel, stumbled upon the body of a woman whom he believed to be asleep in the doorway of a public house. When attempting to rouse her thinking she was drunk, he discovered a deep wound to the side of her neck. He at once procured assistance from the nearest police station and called upon a general practitioner who resided no further than 100 yards from the murder. Upon a hasty examination of the victim's body, Dr. Loud pronounced the victim dead. In addition to a sharp tooth like bite mark to the neck area he also discovered deep claw marks in her back and upper arm areas. Her body was subsequently borne away to the parish morgue in New Castle Street. The female victim was later identified as a one Mary Swinton who resided at the poor house on Jubilee Lane. | Another murder of the most foulest kind was committed in the neighbourhood of Whitechapel in the early hours of yesterday morning. The motive and the killer still remain a mystery. At ten minutes past five, Police-Constable Haylock, when in Cudworth Street, Whitechapel, stumbled upon the body of a woman whom he believed to be asleep in the doorway of a public house. When attempting to rouse her thinking she was drunk, he discovered a deep wound to the side of her neck. He at once procured assistance from the nearest police station and called upon a general practitioner who resided no further than 100 yards from the murder. Upon a hasty examination of the victim's body, Dr. Loud pronounced the victim dead. In addition to a sharp tooth like bite mark to the neck area he also discovered deep claw marks in her back and upper arm areas. Her body was subsequently borne away to the parish morgue in New Castle Street. The female victim was later identified as a one Mary Swinton who resided at the poor house on Jubilee Lane. | ||
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Dr. Loud carried out a second examination of the body in the mortuary, but will not carry out a post-mortem until he receives the consent of the Coroner. The inquest is fixed for today. | Dr. Loud carried out a second examination of the body in the mortuary, but will not carry out a post-mortem until he receives the consent of the Coroner. The inquest is fixed for today. | ||
====NIGHT-WATCHMEN ON 24-HOUR DUTY.==== | ====[[Peelers|NIGHT-WATCHMEN]] ON 24-HOUR DUTY.==== | ||
In response to a demonstration outside Parliament last week with regards to the safety of men and women in the city of | In response to a demonstration outside [[Parliament]] last week with regards to the safety of men and women in the city of | ||
London, the | London, the Home Secretary this morning issued an official statement. It was agreed that the number of Night-Watchmen patrolling the streets would be increased and they would operate in 8-hourly shifts throughout the day and night. | ||
====AMBITIOUS INDUSTRIALIST LORD | ====AMBITIOUS INDUSTRIALIST [[Lord Palethorn|LORD PALETHORN]] PLEADS NOT GUILTY TO RESURRECTING EVIL FORCES.==== | ||
LORD PALETHORN, 56, great-grandson of the Honourable Lord Daniel Roger Palethorn, has pleaded NOT GUILTY to an indictment for having dabbled in black magic. On the night of April 10th, a Police-Constable named Steven Hagger, being on duty in Brixton Hill, noticed a stream of green smoke curling out from under the doorway of a derelict warehouse. He quickly collected several other constables and posted them at different spots around the premises. Soon after the police had began watching, Lord Palethom emerged from the warehouse and was at once stopped by a constable named Hallfield whereupon a struggled ensued, but Hallfield succeeded in holding him until other officers arrived. Upon entering the building the officers seized possession of a walking stick and a Book of Spells that was without the final pages. Lord Palethorn was subsequently taken to Brixton Hill lock-up where be remained until the following morning whereupon he was brought before the magistrate. | LORD PALETHORN, 56, great-grandson of the Honourable [[Lord Daniel Roger Palethorn]], has pleaded NOT GUILTY to an indictment for having dabbled in black magic. On the night of April 10th, a Police-Constable named Steven Hagger, being on duty in Brixton Hill, noticed a stream of green smoke curling out from under the doorway of a derelict warehouse. He quickly collected several other constables and posted them at different spots around the premises. Soon after the police had began watching, Lord Palethom emerged from the warehouse and was at once stopped by a constable named Hallfield whereupon a struggled ensued, but Hallfield succeeded in holding him until other officers arrived. Upon entering the building the officers seized possession of a walking stick and a [[Zarok's spell book|Book of Spells]] that was without the final pages. Lord Palethorn was subsequently taken to Brixton Hill lock-up where be remained until the following morning whereupon he was brought before the magistrate. | ||
As a respected member of society who has borne very good character until now, it was decided that it was in interest of the public that the accused be released on bail at the sum of £20. | As a respected member of society who has borne very good character until now, it was decided that it was in interest of the public that the accused be released on bail at the sum of £20. | ||
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Should any member of the public have any infromation at all regarding Lord Palethorn's evil henchmen, I urge you to report the matter to your local police station immediately. Do not attempt to tackle these monsters yourself as they are believed to be armed and extremely dangerous in nature. Several casualties have already resulted in an assault. And lastly fear not, for I have no doubt in my mind that these wicked plotters will be brought to justice. ''Should any member of the public have any infromation at all regarding Lord Palethorn's evil henchmen, I urge you to report the matter to your local police station immediately. Do not attempt to tackle these monsters yourself as they are believed to be armed and extremely dangerous in nature. Several casualties have already resulted in an assault. And lastly fear not, for I have no doubt in my mind that these wicked plotters will be brought to justice.'' | Should any member of the public have any infromation at all regarding Lord Palethorn's evil henchmen, I urge you to report the matter to your local police station immediately. Do not attempt to tackle these monsters yourself as they are believed to be armed and extremely dangerous in nature. Several casualties have already resulted in an assault. And lastly fear not, for I have no doubt in my mind that these wicked plotters will be brought to justice. ''Should any member of the public have any infromation at all regarding Lord Palethorn's evil henchmen, I urge you to report the matter to your local police station immediately. Do not attempt to tackle these monsters yourself as they are believed to be armed and extremely dangerous in nature. Several casualties have already resulted in an assault. And lastly fear not, for I have no doubt in my mind that these wicked plotters will be brought to justice.'' | ||
In a written statement released (...) her majesty, the Queen has declared (...) on the people of London and the city (...) and intorelable. | In a written statement released (...) her majesty, the [[Queen-zilla|Queen]] has declared (...) on the people of London and the city (...) and intorelable. | ||
The Queen gave the Royal Seal of (...) Sir Daniel Fortesque had been appointed (...) Minister of Defence. She further described (...) wicked and vowed that the plot (...) | The Queen gave the Royal Seal of (...) Sir Daniel Fortesque had been appointed (...) Minister of Defence. She further described (...) wicked and vowed that the plot (...) | ||
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===Medievil Times, page 3 (incomplete)=== | ===Medievil Times, page 3 (incomplete)=== | ||
====EMBALMED EGYPTIAN PRINCESS MISSING FROM BRITISH MUSEUM.==== | ====[[Princess Kiya|EMBALMED EGYPTIAN PRINCESS]] MISSING FROM [[wikipedia:British Museum|BRITISH MUSEUM]].==== | ||
Yesterday, in the (...)<br />around fifteen (...)<br />sounded in the (...)<br />Bloomsbury (...)<br />covered the (...)<br />So far the only (...) reported missing (...) embalmed Egyptian princess (...) dating back to (...) which went on (...) display at the British Museum (...) last week as part of (...) Egyptian Antiquities (...) The princess has simply (...) Apart from a gold gilded (...) belonging to the princess which (...) covered in a side street in the (...) of the Museum, there are no other (...) to her whereabouts. (...) gentleman (who wishes to remain anonymous) reported seeing four people leaving the British Museum at just ten minutes past one that (...) morning. The princess is believed to be one of the four. The police are still questioning witnesses. | Yesterday, in the (...)<br />around fifteen (...)<br />sounded in the (...)<br />Bloomsbury (...)<br />covered the (...)<br />So far the only (...) reported missing (...) embalmed Egyptian princess (...) dating back to (...) which went on (...) display at the British Museum (...) last week as part of (...) Egyptian Antiquities (...) The princess has simply (...) Apart from a gold gilded (...) belonging to the princess which (...) covered in a side street in the (...) of the Museum, there are no other (...) to her whereabouts. (...) gentleman (who wishes to remain anonymous) reported seeing four people leaving the British Museum at just ten minutes past one that (...) morning. The princess is believed to be one of the four. The police are still questioning witnesses. | ||
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In response to Sir Dan's request for military arsenal, the Imperial War Museum in Wandsworth, has kindly donated the following artillery to the cause: | In response to Sir Dan's request for military arsenal, the Imperial War Museum in Wandsworth, has kindly donated the following artillery to the cause: | ||
Devastating multi-barrelled Gatling gun, five 16 inch (...) Italian blunderbuss guns with brass finish, (...) both capable of blowing the enemy into pieces, five (...) Arabian flintlock blunderbuss guns and (...) priceless Colada broadsword capable of (...) slicing the enemy in half. Sir Dan (...) professor with metal hands, has also suggested (...)ped with 16 crossbows and Ham(...) deal with enemies of organic m(...) | Devastating multi-barrelled [[Gatling gun]], five 16 inch (...) Italian blunderbuss guns with brass finish, (...) both capable of blowing the enemy into pieces, five (...) Arabian flintlock [[blunderbuss]] guns and (...) priceless Colada [[broadsword]] capable of (...) slicing the enemy in half. Sir Dan (...) professor with metal hands, has also suggested (...)ped with 16 [[Crossbow|crossbows]] and Ham(...) deal with enemies of organic m(...) | ||
Already in (...) ts to find the missing pages, I have (...) of a truly evil and hideous nature - zombies and gargoyles, to name but a few. In the meantime, I urge the public to keep indoors and roam the streets only when absolutely necessary. | Already in (...) ts to find the missing pages, I have (...) of a truly evil and hideous nature - zombies and gargoyles, to name but a few. In the meantime, I urge the public to keep indoors and roam the streets only when absolutely necessary. | ||
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It is believed that Sir Dan has also approached the Natural History Museum and British Museum. | It is believed that Sir Dan has also approached the Natural History Museum and British Museum. | ||
====LORD PALETHORN'S EVIL HENCHMEN IDENTIFIED.==== | ====LORD PALETHORN'S EVIL HENCHMEN IDENTIFIED.==== | ||
As of yesterday, police stations throughout the city were swamped with men and women who came forward to identify Lord Palethorn's evil henchmen. There were reports of walking zombies, evil pumpkin-headed creatures, gigantic prehistoric beats, vampires, limbless boxers. Many broke down and wept as they recounted the horrible atrocities of the past week. | As of yesterday, police stations throughout the city were swamped with men and women who came forward to identify Lord Palethorn's evil henchmen. There were reports of walking [[zombies]], [[Pumpkin Plants|evil pumpkin-headed creatures]], [[Tyrannosaurus Wrecks|gigantic prehistoric beats]], [[vampires]], [[Limb Creatures|limbless boxers]]. Many broke down and wept as they recounted the horrible atrocities of the past week. | ||
<small>'''''Sir Daniel Fortesque finds himself up against his old archenemy - Lord Palethorn whom he defeated 500 years ago.'''''</small> | <small>'''''Sir Daniel Fortesque finds himself up against his old archenemy - Lord Palethorn whom he defeated 500 years ago.'''''</small> | ||
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REPLY TO CORRESPONDENT: | REPLY TO CORRESPONDENT: | ||
''Prolonged depression from a fear of the dark - Sir, it appears that you are suffering from a condition otherwise known as ACHLUOPHOBIA. This is not a serious condition and can be easily cured by taking two or more tablespoons of SHIITAKE emulsion available from most apothecaries. Should your condition persist after a week, please present yourself to Dr Langlan's surgery at:'' | ''Prolonged depression from a fear of the dark - Sir, it appears that you are suffering from a condition otherwise known as [[wikipedia:Fear of the dark|ACHLUOPHOBIA]]. This is not a serious condition and can be easily cured by taking two or more tablespoons of [[wikipedia:Shiitake|SHIITAKE]] emulsion available from most apothecaries. Should your condition persist after a week, please present yourself to Dr Langlan's surgery at:'' | ||
47 Harley Lane<br />London | 47 Harley Lane<br />London | ||
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Medievil Times 4-1.jpg | Medievil Times 4-1.jpg | ||
Medievil Times 2-3.jpg</gallery> | Medievil Times 2-3.jpg</gallery> | ||
==Trivia== | |||
*April 21, 1886 was a Wednesday, not a Friday.<ref>{{cite web|title=April 21, 1886|site=What day of the week was this date|url=http://www.dayoftheweek.org/?m=April&d=21&y=1886&go=Go}}</ref> | |||
**However, ''MediEvil 2'' takes place in an alternate-world history and thus doesn't need to conform to reality.<ref>{{Icon|Proboards}} {{cite web|site=MediEvil Boards|title=Interview with Jason Wilson|published=December 25, 2012|url=http://sirdanielfortesque.proboards.com/post/11338}}</ref> | |||
==References== | |||
{{Reflist}} | |||
[[Category:Promotional materials]] | [[Category:Promotional materials]] |