MediEvil/Speech: Difference between revisions

 

It should be I, Bloodmonath Skull Cleaver - when I lived, always I had a pile of slain strewn around me.<br />You, you spend most of your time organising the changing of the guard and playing croquet with the king.

 

Ten thousand curses, Fortisskay, I bet money you be back pushing up daisies by now!<br />Hey, I have something here for you. You like it very much. You want?

 

Greetings stranger, I am the Boat Man - it is I who ferry lost souls on their final journey to the Land of the Dead. But hold, have we not met before? Sir Daniel Fortesque! Not you too?<br />Thanks to Zarok's meddlings I'm up to my eye sockets in lost souls who've woken from the eternal sleep - business hasn't been this brisk since before they invented sanitation.

 

You have returned without all of the souls.<br />I am too old for all this larking around in ancient battle grounds, not as young as I used to be!

 

How gracious of you! Makes a change to meet a polite young skeleton after dealing with those filthy zombie types!<br />Hop aboard.

 

How I wish I could fight at your side again, sir. But hold, you could take my crossbow, it's got rapid fire and you can ricochet the darts off walls to shoot around corners.<br />I used it at the Battle of Gallowmere: after you were slain I shot Zarok's champion Lord Kardok - a clean kill, through the eye at some 1000 yards...

 

What? Daniel, man, y'cannat go into battle against an army of undead without a magic sword... Here take mine, you'll never have to sharpen another blade or my name's not Dirk Steadfast.<br />It's not enough just to have a magic shield, you know, no matter what that soft, thickie Sturnguard says.

 

Thank you for releasing me, Sir. My people wish only to live our lives in blissful harmony with nature, but alas the wicked Ant Queen has many of us imprisoned.<br />Rescue my people, Mr. Fortesque, and you will be richly rewarded.

 

Here we are, I shall open the entrance for you...<br />These fireflies are my friends; they will light your way through the darkness below.

 

Urghh... Enough... I yield! That really hurt. What did you have to go and do that for?<br />Here, take this Dragon Potion and leave me alone! Drink it when you need it - it gives you armour that is impervious to heat, plus it lets you breathe fire.<br />Now go away!

 

Who dares to enter my lair and wake me from my slumber?<br />Aha! Prepare yourself, little man, I shall roast the flesh from your bones... Oh, um... I see... In that case... I will pluck out both of your eyes...ah...oh, great... I'm... I'm just going to give you a good hiding!

 

Ooh, lovely, lovely amber.<br />Here you are Sir Knight, a wart covered and cabbage smelling old crone I may be but I always keep my promises: I grant you my reward!

 

Ahem, forgive me, just an old lady's little joke. In truth I am glad to see you Sir Fortesque: I need 7 pieces of amber that are hidden in the Ants' nest. Bring them to me and I can grant you a special reward!<br />I will only offer you this quest this once. Are you willing to give it a try?

 

Daniel, thank goodness you're still safe.<br />I have a gift I can give to you but sadly I cannot say how useful you will find it.

 

Greetings Sir Fortesque, my name is... Jack of the Green. I am the master of riddles and this maze is my domain.<br />You are free to leave but ONLY once you've answered four riddles - puzzles so fiendishly difficult, so perplexingly complex that no man has ever solved them - ha, ha, ha. Now try my first riddle..<br /><br />At night they come without being<br />fetched;<br />By day they are lost without being<br />stolen.

 

At night they come without being<br />fetched;<br />By day they are lost without being<br />stolen.

 

I live for laughter<br />I live for the crowd,<br />Without it I am nothing.

 

Face like a tree,<br />Skin like the sea,<br />A great beast I be,<br />Yet vermin frighten me!

 

I tolerate the moon and stars,<br />I can't abide the sun,<br />Banish me with torch light<br />And you'll see me turn and run.

 

Well done, Sir Knight. But my Star Riddle was but a trifle - I always like to begin with an easy one.<br />Return hither - you will not find my next conundrum so simple!

 

All right, yes it was a clown - very clever I'm sure.<br />Return in haste, Sir knight, for I wish to see the despair on your face when you hear my next cryptic puzzler.

 

Did you spot my bluff? I pretended that riddle was hard but in truth it was obviously an elephant.<br />This time, however, I almost pity you: the answer to my next vexing enigma has eluded the finest minds of a whole generation.<br />Come to me!

 

Blast you! It took me ages to come up with that Darkness one!<br />Very well, outrageous as it seems, my vast intellect has been matched by your badly decomposed brain.<br />Return at once and I shall give you your prize.

 

You think you're so clever don't you?<br />Here you are Sir Clever Clogs, I grant you free passage through my maze - find your own way out!

 

Ah Herr Fortesque - you are back on the battlefield, yah? Zis is good.<br />People say to me 'Sturnguard what do think of this sword or that axe' but I say to them 'NEIN! Modern warfare is a question of science, the science of shields.'

 

I think maybe you should take my shield - yah? It is magic, Herr Fortesque.<br />Some say it is better to have a magic sword than a magic shield but I say to you that this is rubbish!

 

Using a dark magic called 'science' Zarok has constructed a device based around the mechanical measurement of time. The innards of this chronograph are fiendishly complicated.<br />Keep your eye on the flying timepieces and get ready to reset the hands of the master time clock.

 

Tread softly - Zarok awaits beyond these Gates!<br />The master meets with the Demon from the Mausoleum, hatching plots of purest evil. Forgotten nobodies would be wise to make themselves scarce!

 

Sir Daniel Fortesque! Standing bold as you like in the foyer of Zarok's castle - who'd have thought it. Not us that's for sure.<br />We's afraid the Master of the House is out trying to plunge the land into eternal night, but come on in and make yourself at home!

 

All bow down before the master of the vegetable patch, the prize-winning plant who can summon an army of cabbage with a wave of his noble tendril.<br />He's delicious, he nutritious, he's Zarok's secret recipe - he's the Pumpkin King!

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Run little man! If the master found it now he would crush it like a bug! Ha ha ha!<br />Hark, we can hear the soldier ants approaching - onward and meet your tiny nemesis.

 

Cold and dark and reeking of death. We remembers an ancient battle fought here, between the forces of good and the dark armies of Zarok!<br />Now the marshes are full of the restless dead.

 

None shall enter. The Shadow Demons are entombed within, separated from the world of goodness and light until the earth cracks open. No one, not even the dark lord Zarok, can release them without the Shadow Artefact.<br />Leave now or share their doom.

 

What have you done? Once again the Shadow Demons are wreaking havoc across the land - and it's all thanks to you!<br />The single most destructive and wretched creatures in the history of the world and you've given them an early parole.<br />They will be heading for the ruins of King Peregrin's Castle - Gallowmere is doomed!

 

Sir Daniel Fortesque, it's been a long time. Welcome back to your home.<br />But it is sad that you should see it so - the jewel in Gallowmere's crown has become a corrupt haven for Zarok's Army of Shadow Demons!

 

The ancient town of Mellowmede was destroyed by creatures known as Rhinotaurs.<br />They live on still but in a state of hibernation deep within these Caverns, they use the Crystals to prolong their worthless hides.

 

We never thought you'd get this far - your final encounter with Zarok awaits beyond this point. He has surrounded himself with his unnatural bodyguards - but you may yet even the odds by calling upon the lost Souls collected within your Chalice. Place the Chalice on the Shield at the heart of the arena.<br />Good luck Sir Daniel Fortesque.

 

Cough! Splutter! Aaah - fresh air!<br />We hates these dark old caves and their filthy stench of old witches. A coven of the warty old hags lived here once - unholy fires burning all night while they brewed up unspeakable muck in their cauldrons. They moved on years back but the smell still makes our eyes sting.

 

Let it alone! Fate has given it a second chance, a chance to forget the ignoble truth, a chance to defeat Zarok and live up to the legend.<br />We hopes it does well.

 

Welcome to Castle Peregrin.<br />In the time of King Peregrin this magnificent edifice was the seat of power and home to the royal household. Now it is home only to ghosts and forgotten memories.

 

Welcome to the Hall of Heroes,<br />where the bravest warriors from history spend eternity, feasting, singing and arm wrestling!<br />If they think you are worthy enough you may be able to persuade them to give you a new weapon.

 

Back from the battles so soon?<br />It must think it is a hero by now but only a true hero is worthy of a place in the Hall of Heroes.<br />See the ghostly statue of your fraudster self? When it is has turned solid a true hero you will be.

 

Gaining allies in the Hall of the Heroes is the way forward!<br />Hack! Choppety chop! Off with a few Zombies heads and it thinks it can redeem itself in battle! You still have a long way to go to rank as the best!

 

You prove us all wrong!<br />Maybe it is destined to be a Hero, maybe it can defeat Zarok! The people of Gallowmere may never know of your past mistakes and you will indeed be remembered as the peoples hero!<br />Your time in exile is over, welcome to your new home Sir Daniel Fortesque!

 

Sir Fortesque, noblest of my courtiers, bravest of my captains!<br />Oh that we should meet at such a dark hour, with the fate of this realm lying once again in your hands. Good god,Fortesque - what's happened to your jaw?

 

Bad luck old man.<br />Now look, Zarok's army of Shadow Demons hide beneath us within this very mountain, they prepare as we speak to invade fair Gallowmere. If we are to thwart his plans we must bring down the castle on top of them, we must unleash the lava behind the floodgates!<br />I can take you to the gate's control lever, but you alone can pull it.

 

Greetings kind sir. I am the Pumpkin Witch. I'm like a mother to those pumpkins - I give them all the love and care a young fruit could ever ask for.<br />From the moment they first push a shoot above the soil, right up until their heads are cut off and eaten - and look, see how they repay me! Running around and causing mischief!<br />That nasty old big Pumpkin is a bad influence on the young seedlings, if you teach him a lesson in manners I might give you a nice present!

 

A most edifying spectacle sir: man and vegetable in a magnificent duel to the death. Ooh, I've come over all of a doodah.<br />Here, have this lovely Dragon gem as your reward. Ohh, lovely majestic creatures Dragons are.

 

Oh, Daniel - I've got something here I can give you but I've no idea what it is. Do you fancy a little gamble, like?

 

Look, there's not a man jack on this ship who wouldn't keelhaul his own grandmother for the silver in her hair - there'll be no tongue lashing!<br />Bring the landlubber to me an' I'll tear 'im a new orifice!

These files are zombie moans reflecting certain emotions, seemingly unused in the game itself.

 

Bravo Fortesque, some of the other chaps wagered Zarok would be using your rib cage as a toast rack by now. But I knew you'd pull through.<br />Here, I have a little extra something here I can give you. Could help the old quest, do you want it?

 

Thank 'ee for rescuing us, kind zir!<br />Forgive us master, we have no pig to reward you, but we'd be honoured if you'd accept these shiny, gold coloured stones as a token of our thanks.

 

By 'eck, am I glad to see you! That Zarok tried to force me to hand over the Shadow Artefact - he means to release the Demons from their tomb under the Enchanted Forest.<br />But I said to him, I said 'You can't touch me, you lanky windbag, I'm the mayor.Aye, that told him... But then he had me locked up in here with all these nutters. Oh, it's been terrible - I haven't managed to get a word of sense out of anyone in weeks!

 

What? Call me MISTER Woden the Mighty!<br />How I pity the people of Gallowmere - that their fate should once again be in the hands of a chump like you!<br />Still, I suppose it's not fair to take it out on them - take my sword - and do try not to stab yourself in the foot.<br />You know, I've always had my doubts about you, Fortesque - you're just not carved from hero material.

 

By God, Fortesque, you must be the luckiest corpse ever to walk the face of the Earth!<br />I have something here I can lend to you - take it or leave it but remember I'm only doing this for the sake of Gallowmere's doomed population and not for you, you gangly buffoon.

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So, even from the shackles of death my old enemy pursues me!<br />You're too late Fortesque - already my army has risen from the grave!<br />You will never leave this necropolis... Ha, ha, ha!

 

Sir Fortesque, my old nemesis, so we meet again!<br />I see that a century spent as worm food has done nothing to diminish your naive obsession with the freedom of Gallowmere.

 

You always were fortunate in battle, Fortesque.<br />Let us see how you fare against my champion, the late Lord Kardok. He eats people like you as calcium supplement!

 

None shall defeat the mighty Zarok!<br />So prepare to die Fortesque!

 

Ha ha har! Not such the big man now are you, Fortesque?<br />Guards: take him down!

 

Yet if I am to fail then all shall perish!<br />You are doomed Fortesque! You will never leave this domain! Ha ha ha!