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<p style="text-align:center;">And so I came face to face with The Big Z. Inevitably, he was on a balcony - he's always loved a big entrance. Although I suppose, with the size of his outfits, he needs one.</p> | <p style="text-align:center;">And so I came face to face with The Big Z. Inevitably, he was on a balcony - he's always loved a big entrance. Although I suppose, with the size of his outfits, he needs one.</p> | ||
<p style="text-align:center;">But what's this? Oh, not the old "first ye shall fight ye my whatsisfaces and my doo-dads" nonsense. Why do evil villains ALWAYS do this? He wants me to fight Lord Kardok first. Okay, hoofs-for-hands Let's get it on!</p> | <p style="text-align:center;">But what's this? Oh, not the old "first ye shall fight ye my whatsisfaces and my doo-dads" nonsense. Why do evil villains ALWAYS do this? He wants me to fight Lord Kardok first. Okay, hoofs-for-hands. Let's get it on!</p> | ||
<p style="text-align:center;">Lord Kardok, like the golems before him, is no more. Your powers were weak, old man. And so on.</p> | <p style="text-align:center;">Lord Kardok, like the golems before him, is no more. Your powers were weak, old man. And so on.</p> | ||
<p style="text-align:center;">An army of Fazguls now rise against me. I finally find a use for that Anubis Stone thing. Somewhat impressively, I use it to evoke my own undead army - the fallen heroes from the Battle of Gallowmere! I'm not ashamed to reveal that the sight of my old friends brought a tear to my eye Or maybe it was the smell - I think some of my former comrades may have been "on the turn".</p> | <p style="text-align:center;">An army of Fazguls now rise against me. I finally find a use for that Anubis Stone thing. Somewhat impressively, I use it to evoke my own undead army - the fallen heroes from the Battle of Gallowmere! I'm not ashamed to reveal that the sight of my old friends brought a tear to my eye. Or maybe it was the smell - I think some of my former comrades may have been "on the turn".</p> | ||
<p style="text-align:center;">The Fazguls, too, are rendered unto dust. It's lucky I'm not asthmatic.</p> | <p style="text-align:center;">The Fazguls, too, are rendered unto dust. It's lucky I'm not asthmatic.</p> | ||
<p style="text-align:center;">I know what's going to happen now I just bet he turns himself into some kind of horrible monstrous form I just hope it's not a snake. I can't stand snakes. Be a buffalo. Be a buffalo.</p> | <p style="text-align:center;">I know what's going to happen now. I just bet he turns himself into some kind of horrible monstrous form. I just hope it's not a snake. I can't stand snakes. Be a buffalo. Be a buffalo.</p> | ||
<p style="text-align:center;">It's a snake.</p> | <p style="text-align:center;">It's a snake.</p> | ||
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<p style="text-align:center;">Cool! A piece of masonry crushed him to death! I'll never say a bad word about cowboy builders again. What's more, Al-Zalam has now been freed from my skull. Now I know how migraine sufferers feel in those advertising parchments.</p> | <p style="text-align:center;">Cool! A piece of masonry crushed him to death! I'll never say a bad word about cowboy builders again. What's more, Al-Zalam has now been freed from my skull. Now I know how migraine sufferers feel in those advertising parchments.</p> | ||
<p style="text-align:center;">Well, that was spectacular. The whole place just collapsed. I only got out by the skin of my misaligned teeth. I must stop having these near-death experiences. The stress is bound to shorten one's lifespan. Hang on… there's a logic I've missed there somewhere… I'm undead… near-death… ohhh, never mind. Anyway Fortress Cross-Dresser - along with its long-term inhabitant - is no more, and that's the main thing.</p> | <p style="text-align:center;">Well, that was spectacular. The whole place just collapsed. I only got out by the skin of my misaligned teeth. I must stop having these near-death experiences. The stress is bound to shorten one's lifespan. Hang on… there's a logic I've missed there somewhere… I'm undead… near-death… ohhh, never mind. Anyway. Fortress Cross-Dresser - along with its long-term inhabitant - is no more, and that's the main thing.</p> | ||
<p style="text-align:center;">At last I can rest. How I have longed to return once more to that state of peaceful slumber called death. I have proved myself as a hero, and will hopefully be welcomed into the Hall of Heroes with the other great warriors of legend. Or at least not openly mocked.</p> | <p style="text-align:center;">At last I can rest. How I have longed to return once more to that state of peaceful slumber called death. I have proved myself as a hero, and will hopefully be welcomed into the Hall of Heroes with the other great warriors of legend. Or at least not openly mocked.</p> | ||
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<p style="text-align:right;">The forest key is woven from bewitched twigs and may be used to open the imposing gates to the Enchanted Forest. The portly Mayor of Sleeping Village always carries this key about his person, so as to protect the forest from unwanted questors.</p> | <p style="text-align:right;">The forest key is woven from bewitched twigs and may be used to open the imposing gates to the Enchanted Forest. The portly Mayor of Sleeping Village always carries this key about his person, so as to protect the forest from unwanted questors.</p> | ||
<h5 style="text-align:center;">SHADOW DEMON CLAW | <h5 style="text-align:center;">SHADOW DEMON CLAW</h5> | ||
<p style="text-align:right;">This gruesome artifact is moulded from the amputated hand of a dead Shadow Demon. The clawed fingers wrap menacingly around a purple beast orb, whose dark witchcraft imbues this relic with the unholy power to unlock the notorious Shadow Demon Prison.</p> | <p style="text-align:right;">This gruesome artifact is moulded from the amputated hand of a dead Shadow Demon. The clawed fingers wrap menacingly around a purple beast orb, whose dark witchcraft imbues this relic with the unholy power to unlock the notorious Shadow Demon Prison.</p> | ||
<h5 style="text-align:center;">SAFE KEY | |||
<h5 style="text-align:center;">SAFE KEY | |||
<p style="text-align:right;">This silver key is hidden away in a secret alcove within the Sleeping Village church. Replacing the church's missing crucifix will reveal its hiding place. Whoever gains access to this key will then have the ability to raid the inner sanctum of the Mayor's safe.</p> | <p style="text-align:right;">This silver key is hidden away in a secret alcove within the Sleeping Village church. Replacing the church's missing crucifix will reveal its hiding place. Whoever gains access to this key will then have the ability to raid the inner sanctum of the Mayor's safe.</p> | ||
<h5 style="text-align:center;">PUMPKIN KEY</h5> | <h5 style="text-align:center;">PUMPKIN KEY</h5> |