Books in MediEvil: Resurrection: Difference between revisions

===Crypt 3000===

<p style="text-align:center;">Finally I made it into the Haunted Ruins. After locating the king's lost crown I stood face to face with my old pal, the genial and garuulous monarch.</p>

<p style="text-align:center;">Kingy P. opened a secret passage to the floodgate area, and in I went. That lever was mine for the pulling, baby. So I pulled it.With an inevitability that is really starting to get me down, this released two rather angry guardian golems.</p>

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===ATTENTION SCUM!===

<p style="text-align:center;">No access to Sleeping Village.<br />Gates secured with a locking spell by order of Lord Zarok.<br />Return to your hovels and await thy doom.</p>

===MEET THE GREATEST WARRIORS FROM HISTORY!===

<p style="text-align:center;">Congratulations, you may have already won a free trip to the Hall of Heroes.<br />To claim free admittance simply collect souls from vanquished enemies in this beautiful golden chalice. Once the chalice is full you can redeem your prize by visiting the Hall of Heroes.<br />Free gift with every visit!<br />There are many other chalice to find and collect. Don't delay, start killing today!</p>

===Witches' Gate===

<p style="text-align:center;">DANGER! NO ENTRY</p>

===Frozen Heart===

<p style="text-align:center;">The Stain Glass Demon is the master of the mausoleum. His wretched soul is preserved inside a frozen glass heart. It lies shrouded in a veil of darkness beyond this very gate.</p>

===Stain Glass Gate===

<p style="text-align:center;">This Stain Glass Demon gate has an unusual feature. It's keyhole is missing!</p>

<p style="text-align:center;">Only two school-imps at a time.</p>

===Repairman Note===

<p style="text-align:center;">Note to repairman:</p>

<p style="text-align:center;">Signed, The Farmer.</p>

<p style="text-align:center;">Beyond lies Kul Katura, Lord of the Serpents, greatest snake to ever slither across the earth.</p>

<p style="text-align:center;">P.S. Hurry, he's getting a cricked neck.</p>

===Pumpkin King===

<p style="text-align:center;">This is my beautiful baby, the Pumpkin King. Look at his little face!</p>

<p style="text-align:center;">Interview inadvertently terminated.</p>

=====CHAPTER 3=====

<p style="text-align:center;">The siege ended when Karl yelled a five-week long lecture on defense over the battlements in heavily-accented English. The attacking forces become so bored they went off to become celebrity chefs.</p>

<p style="text-align:center;">With his impregnable magic shield, Sturnguard's motto was "The BEST form of ATTACK is DEFENSE for sure!" (Hardly surprising, really, with a magic shield). Sadly his shield couldn't protect him against poor eating habits, and he choked to death on a jumbo bratwurst he had failed to chew.</p>

=====CHAPTER 4=====

<p style="text-align:center;">My Hero Weekly</p>

<p style="text-align:center;">96.<br />Doughty warriors formed defenses<br />and ye Amazons attack'd;<br />led by one gargantuan Damsel<br />who wath seriously stacked.<br />As she bounded down the hillside<br />all ye men were took aback,<br />staring wide-eyed at an Bosomme<br />like two Footballs in a Sack<br />97.<br />Wielding her spear madly,<br />she went through them at the run,<br />slaying four-and-twenty Soldiers<br />'fore ye fight had scarce begun.<br />As ye fields got dark and blood-drenched,<br />she howled "That's what I call fun!"<br />Buttocks gleaming in the sunlight<br />like two massive Breakfast Buns.</p>

=====CHAPTER 6=====

<p style="text-align:center;">06:27<br />My spy tells me the menfolk of the village are off on a "hunting trip". In other words, the travelling tinker's turned up with quality Begian ale and they're all off in the woods necking barrels of the stuff. Excellent</p>

<p style="text-align:center;">He was a friend and contemporary of Karl Sturnguard and was with him even to the end: it was while Dirk explained his outspoken views on Sturnguard's shield during a feast, that the latter, outraged, choked on a Bratwurst. Steadfast himself followed shortly afterwards in an unfortunate shaving accident.</p>

=====CHAPTER 8=====

<p style="text-align:center;">Extract from Cheerio! magazine: At Home With Prince Ravenhooves</p>

<p style="text-align:center;">Those strange shuffling shrubbites have their uses. They could LIFT your spirits if you look their way.</p>

===Ring Puzzle Hint===

===Enchanted Earth===

<p style="text-align:center;">A WARNING TO TRESPASSERS: Dragon Toad breeding season. Do not touch or stroke the toads, they don't like it and will kill you!</p>

==[[Scurvy Docks]]==

===Fish Hint===

<p style="text-align:center;">GRAFFITI OF THE ANCIENT MARINER:</p>

<p style="text-align:center;">Though their feet be uglier.</p>

<p style="text-align:center;">Another great scientific discovery foiled by lack of resources.</p>

===Hero Homage===

<p style="text-align:center;">To pay homage to the heroes stand in front of their statues and await spiritual guidance.</p>

[[Category:Books]]