The Professor's Lab

The Professor's Lab
General information
Chalice	No
Chronological information
Level number	N/A (Hub)
Previous level	Tyrannosaurus Wrecks
Next level	Kensington

The Professor's Lab is a level in MediEvil 2. It serves as a hub and a replacement for the Hall of Heroes. Because of this, it doesn't count as one of the game's "main" levels.

Changes after levels

The lab is relatively empty when first visited consisting only of two workbenches, a device on one bench, a projector and a board with some scribbles on it.

• Kensington - After this level there are two lights behind the workbenches.
• The Freakshow - After this level there are two glowing tubes on the wall opposite the workbenches.
• Greenwich Observatory - After this level there is an oscillating machine between the two tubes.
• Kew Gardens - After this level the tubes have moved to the door leading to the lab where Dankenstein is assembled, the oscillating machine has been turned around, there are two dials underneath a vent next to the lab door and a machine is behind the workbenches.
• Dankenstein - After this level the tubes have moved back to where they were and the dials have disappeared.
• Wulfrum Hall - After this level there is a large smoking machine in the corner behind the workbenches.

Book of London

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Inventory

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Intermissions

Professor's Lab (1), introduction following Museum level

• Professor: Ah, well done, Winston, I see you managed to find him after all. Fortesque, pleased to meet you, I should imagine that you are a little nonplussed, as to what exactly is going on, eh??
• Dan: Uh... Uh...
• Professor: Well, allow me to introduce myself. Professor Hamilton-Kift, Magician, Inventor and master of the Occult at your service. If you're wondering what you're doing once again walking the earth, it appears that someone has got their hands on the legendary Zarok spell book.
• Dan: Zarok... Ugh... No...
• Professor: Well, people like myself have been searching for that book for centuries. The power within its pages, oooh! Well, last year certain pieces of the book turned up and this is the result, total chaos. First we have to find the extent of the damage don't we?? I myself am imprisoned in this god-awful pit without any power. Top priority is to get this place into suitable shape to start waging a little guerrilla war. Has Winston told you about collecting magic? He has? Good, good. Well, off you go then. Select where you want to go on the projector over here. Also if you collect the Chalice I should be able to reward you with a new weapon. You can collect this off me here.

Professor's Lab (2), introduction following Victorian Townscape level

• Professor: Fortesque, you made it, excellent!! The energy you've collected has given us power of a sort... And  that's not all you've brought back I see. I don't normally approve of any old waif or stray, but when they're as pretty as this one, I think we can make exceptions. Ohhh, errr, Sorry, Sorry. Well tell me, did you find anything useful on your journey? A what?? Errr... A snake??? A dog and a rocket???
• Dan: And I also found this.
• Professor: Mmmmm, interesting. I'll analyse this and... see if I can't debrief our friend over here. Sir Dan, go and get some more Zombie juice for my machines.

Professor's Lab (3), introduction following Freakshow level

• Professor: Dan you're back, fantastic. Loads to tell you. I've analysed the watch you found and I think I know who is behind this madness.
• Dan: Who??
• Professor: The name of our enemy is Lord Palethorn. He tried to gain respect by joining the magicians circle, but they expelled him after he began to experiment with Black Magic. Frightful, frightful man. As far as we can see, the whole city has fallen under his wicked spell. Every dead soul in London is walking the streets and a host of other demons have arrived to plague us.
• Dan: Here we go again.
• Professor: Not all bad news though. This young... This lady is none other than Kiya, 91st consort of Ramesses himself! I've been doing a little reading and let me tell you, you might feel old, but she's positively ancient - no offence.
• Princess: You were the one who freed me from my eternal prison? Great warrior, I salute thee. I am forever in your debt.
• Professor: Right, introductions over... on with the show.

Professor's Lab (4), introduction following Greenwich Observatory level

• Professor: Fortesque, well done my friend, you thwarted Palethorn. Winston tells me about his fiendish scheme and it's our first piece of good news. If he hasn't got all the pages of the spell book, then he hasn't got full control of the undead. If we can get to them before he does then we just might stand a chance of defeating him. Sorry no time for chat, if you're ready let's get this show on the road.

Professor's Lab (5), introduction following Dan-kenstein boxing level

• Professor: Well, we won that round, quite literally, didn't we? But we're not out of the woods just yet. In fact, at this very moment I'm picking up two areas of extreme psychic disturbance. One in Whitechapel, the other... It's nothing I've ever seen... It's a pity you can't be in two places at once Dan.
• Princess: Professor, let me go.
• Dan: No, no, it's too dangerous.
• Professor: Well, if she's careful, and comes back at the first sign of trouble...
• Princess: Wait, Sir Fortesq... Dan... You freed me from my Tomb, do not imprison me in another. I wish to see the world, to help in the fight and I will be careful.
• Professor: Ok, Kiya you go to Whitechapel. Dan, you check out the other disturbance.

Professor's Lab (6), introduction following Vampire Boss level

• Professor: Er, hello Dan. You destroyed the Count. Err, excellent... Excellent!
• Dan: What's the matter?
• Professor: Err, unfortunately I'm afraid we've lost all contact with Kiya. She went to Whitechapel and we haven't heard from her since.
• Dan: What! I said she shouldn't go.
• Professor: I know, I know, it's all my fault. If anything's happened to her I'll never forgive myself and I don't think you'll ever forgive me will you? We should probably go after Palethorn, but why don't you go and see if you can find her. Mmmm?

Professor's Lab (7), introduction following Lair of the Ripper level

• Professor: Well did you find her??
• Dan: Huh, huh.
• Professor: And... and...?
• Dan: She's dead!
• Professor: Oh no, Oh no, she's dead and it's all my fault. I'll never be able to forgive myself... Anyway, I'm picking up some bizarre signals from the Cathedral, we must investigate.
• Dan: No, Not me, I can't go on, I quit.
• Professor: No Dan, that's just what he wants, if we give up now all of London will be his and with London the rest of the Empire will follow.
• Dan: He can have it. I don't care.
• Professor: Dan! Dan!

Professor's Lab (8), introduction following Sewer level

• Professor: Dan, I had almost given up hope! We still have a little time left to defeat Palethorn. If he gets the last pages of the spell book then...
• Dan: Professor, what's this?
• Professor: Erm, I don't know, never seen it before.
• Dan: Grrr
• Professor: It's a poster for one of my earliest experiments, the time machine, doesn't work though, complete waste of time.
• Dan: I'm going!
• Professor: No, we must focus on defeating Palethorn, I'm sorry about Kiya, I really am, but it's too late to worry about her now.
• Dan: Grrr
• Professor: Alright, alright. I've been economical with the truth. I knew it was Palethorn all along... We used to be friends. That was before the expedition of '78. Ever wondered how I got these hands? Well it's all in my diary over there, but the machine, it's still at the museum. It's probably smashed though and anyway I could never get it to do anything other than move through space. Like I said, waste of time... Oh??

Professor's Lab (9), introduction following Time Machine level

• Professor: Oh, you found her then. Good, good. I knew she'd come to no harm. Err, ooh there's no time for this luvvy duvvy stuff. Things are looking grim, I'm picking up a bizarre signal from...
• Dan: Cathedral Spires. Where Palethorn is looking for the final pages of the spell book.
• Professor: Err, yes! Cathedral Spires. How did you know that? And come to think of it, where did you get that new fangled armour from?
• Dan: Hahah!
• Professor: Hmmm, it looks to be made of the same material as your shield. Interesting, it should afford you much greater protection. Right, the mission is simple, we have to find that page of the spell book before Palethorn, or else all of London will be his and we've lost!

Books

Main article: Books in MediEvil 2

Book 1 - Lifestyles of the Pharaohs

Chapter 10
Courtship and Consorts

Although viewed as Gods and Goddesses a Pharaoh's life was often a short and arduous affair.

Many, such as Ramesses II, would take a number of mistresses as well as a wife. Keeping all of the women happy could prove such an arduous task that many were driven to an early grave.

A royal mistress could be plucked from any level of Egyptian society. If a slave girl caught a Pharaoh's eye, she could quickly be elevated to the Royal court. This was a fate not without complications, however.

Due to the Pharaoh's intense interest in mummification, many on their deathbeds took their mistresses with them to ease their existence in the afterlife.

Many examples of Consort tombs exist, the greatest of which has been re-built brick by brick in the Great Museum. This the Tomb of Abu Simbel contains the mortal remains of Princess Kiya, Ramesses II's last mistress. The parchments of the time, reveal that the King died before the relationship was consummated. One can only imagine her feelings, as the joy at being plucked from abject poverty was replaced by the misery of playing Nurse-maid to a randy eighty year old and how the joy of his death must have been replaced with the misery of following him to the grave.

Book 2 - The Diary of Prof. H.KIFT

January 10th, 1878

This morning an unexpected caller presented himself at my door. It was none other than Lord Palethorn! I hadn't seem him since his expulsion from the Magic Circle, the previous month and quite frankly I had hoped never to see the fellow again.

The embarrassing details of that incident I recounted in my Journal for 1877. Far from being contrite or ashamed he seemed rather bullish, for a man ostracised for abusing his wand.
Straight away he asked me to accompany him on a trip to the north. When I said I would do no such thing, he laughed and began to tell me of "the unique opportunity", he was offering. Very quickly he explained he had found the last resting-place of certain pages of the Zarok spell book.
He even had a map and this was where I came in. He needed a translator, for despite his outward manner I fear he is not possessed of too great an education and with my knowledge of ancient texts, I was just the man for him. This astounding news confounded me. He left giving me until dawn to reach a decision.

January 11th

I have thought long and hard about his proposition and, although I am unsure of the man, the chance to find the legendary spell-book is too great an allure. I agreed to the proposal, we set forth, a week today, travelling to the remote Hebrides. N.B remind cook to pack ointment.

January 17th

I find myself in the Bonny Prince Charlie, a Coastal inn some 80 miles west of Inverness. Tomorrow we set sail for the Hebrides. The weather forecast is bad and as I look from my window across the sea, a great foreboding steals up upon me, as a real as the storm clouds themselves, that at this very moment roll in from the East blotting the Stars from the sky.

January 18th

We have set up camp for the night. It is a relief to be once again on dry land. The journey was bad, as if the ocean itself was trying to bar our progress. For a long while it was touch and go whether we would be drowned at sea, or smashed upon the rocks themselves.
If I weren't a man of science I would have feared that something was trying to stop us from reaching our journey's end. Still tomorrow we set out in search of the burial grounds shown on the map

January 20th

Now I have the map the right way up, the route is clear to me. We reached the tomb on the Northern point of the island at Midday, tomorrow we enter, not knowing whether the Greatest prize in history awaits us on the other side of its stony door.

March 31st,1878

Having priblems adjisting to my new mechanocal hands, will recoint my story later.

April 1st, 1878

Hands fully functional.
It is indeed fitting that today is All Fools' Day, as I begin to recount the final stage of our ill-fated trip. My memories of the time are now thankfully vague and I have difficulty seperating the real from the imaginings of a fever-wracked brain. We entered the tomb and discovered the Spellbook I am sure of that. Whoever sealed the book in this resting-place must have meant for all eternity, for no sooner had Palethorn placed his hands upon it, the room began to collapse. The last thing I remember clearly is Palethorn pushing me aside as the great tomb door began to lower.
I scrambled for the exit too late. The door sliding shut trapping me in the darkness, my hands crushed beyond repair. The next two weeks are but a fevered dream, how long I crawled in the darkness of how I escaped I do not know. I am reliably informed I was spotted at the water's edge by local fishermen and transported back to Inverness to recover from my grevious injuries. Now safely back in London, I fear for the future, I can only wonder what Palethorn intends to do with the book. Only one thing is certain, when he does surface again,
I will have my revenge.
Signed

Professor Hamilton Kift

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In other languages

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Trivia

• Two paintings by the Art Nouveau painter Alphonse Mucha can be found on the wall left of the projector - La Plume (1889) and Job (1897).